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(no subject) [Jan. 4th, 2005|08:02 pm]
jessi
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]

Somehow, for some reason, I always end up back where I started.


All friends on this account are going buh-bye. Unless otherwise requested.
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(no subject) [Aug. 6th, 2004|01:36 am]
jessi
[mood |shockedshocked]

I have been deleted for 90 days.

LJ DIDN'T DELETE ME.

I think I shall keep the journal around.

Everybody- I am now joker_venom on LJ.
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Without you, today's emotions would be the scurge of yesterday's. [Mar. 16th, 2004|11:54 am]
jessi
[mood |offended indeed]

I just stumbled apon something I was obviously not supposed to see.

I feel like something sacred has been ripped away from me.
Something that completes me has been handed to the public and they've been told to rip it to shreds. I'm very aware, all of a sudden, how fast my heart is really going, and how quickly my palms can start sweating. And how quickly I can go from content to irate to crushed to maddeningly depressed.

Apparently I am capable of human emotion.

I feel slightly offended that I even think to exist in this world as a complete human being without my emotional attachment to memories. It's so surreal, you know? People talk about how painful, how upsetting, it is.

But they never talk about how it makes you go numb and have out of body expiriences.
Or maybe I'm just that one person who goes crazy with even the slightest hint of betrayal. I'm so confused.

Scared heart's desire, given to another.
That's a line in a poem that Brittee wrote for Jesse. It made little to no sense to me at the time, but that was 9th grade.
I'm all grown up now.
All grown up in my Cat in the Hat pajamas, wife beater, drinking my pseudo-cool coffee drink.
Holding my teddy bear, crying my eyes out over circumstance, watching Laverne and Shirley. Squiggy was so the best.
I really am a grown up now, because I stopped caring about the people who love me.

I feel sick to my stomach.

"You mean she would rather imagine herself relating to an absent person than build relationships with those around her?"

"I had two heart attacks, an abortion, did crack... while I was pregnant. Other than that, I'm fine."

Amelie. Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain. I'm so rusty on my French.

I wish I was a cat. What do cats have to cry about? Nothing. Not my cats anyway. They are lazy, and fat. They sleep all day and play all night, their food is brought to them every morning at seven-thirty, and they don't feel the urge to get drunk.

At least I don't think so. I wouldn't really know what it's like to be a cat, now could I? Maybe Phydeaux isn't watching the birds from the window, maybe he's thinking that if he jumps just right and lands on the rose bush he'll die faster than if he were to try and poison himself with Drano, a la Mae. (Who swallowed Drano, lived, and is miserable because of it.)


I don't even smoke, and I want a cigarrette like nothing else. Goes to show what my nerves are like.

Happy 9:30 am everybody!

Don't mind me.
I should probably have learned my lesson by now.

"An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness."

I guess that's true.

Emotions are a lovely thing to bless a seventeen year old girl with.
Sometimes I feel entirely too sorry for myself.
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(no subject) [Mar. 9th, 2004|11:49 pm]
jessi
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

So, I jumped on the band wagon?

I'm sure this isn't for most of you...
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Two entries in two days? It cannot be! [Feb. 29th, 2004|10:45 pm]
jessi
[mood |predatorypredatory]
[music |Kittie-]

Who is in your celebrity family? by cerulean_dreams
User Name
MomWhitney Houston
DadAl Pacino
BrotherJohnny Depp
SisterLucy Lui
DogRin tin tin
BoyfriendJohnny Depp
Best friendEnya
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!



That is so wrong. My brother is Johnny Depp. Lo and behold, my boyfriend- is Johnny Depp.

Well hell. Incest is best, let's put Johnny to the test!

I'm all pissy today, so if you're gonna be an insensitive asshat about it, just fuck off.

I changed my brakes today. Thank god that god awful squealing is gone.
Well, actually I didn't change my brakes.
I went to my Grandpa's house to change my brakes, and use his tools and see if maybe I could get the brake pads for cheap (Grandpa is in the know about these things.), but I was doing it basically myself, asking him for help if I needed it.
Well my asshat uncle shows up, and takes over. He doesn't even let me touch the brake pads. "Don't touch that. It's dirty."

Excuse me?! It's dirty? Who cares?! (Yes I am having fun with html. Fuck off.)

I don't care if I get grease all over myself.
I think chicks who work on their own cars are HAWT.
I mean, one, coveralls are sexy as hell, because you never know what they're wearing underneath. (Insert Playboy model here, in hot pants and a button up shirt tied around their gigantic breasts holding a screwdriver and sticking out their tounge.)
And, girls are just sexy when they can fend for themselves. And smarter too. I know how to change my brakes, I know how to change my oil, I know how to change a flat tire, I know how to pump my own gas, and I know how to change fuses. I'm learning how to take care of myself, and not depend on a big strong burly man to do it.


I hate the thought of a man taking care of me.
Every man who has attempted to take care of me has let me down miserably.
It's time for this chick to be free.
No fucking way I'm burning my bras though. Those things are a godsend.

I changed all the fuses that were out in my car today, got a new radio antenna, put a ton of gas in, added brake fluid and oil and windsheild wiper fluid, and to top it all off, I washed the windsheild too.
I am woman, hear my roar.


Oscar blah blah blah.
Dress blah blah blah.
JLo is dating blah blah blah.


Now that that part of the evening is out of the way.

I'm sick of being dissapointed, you know?


My body is telling me something. It's eating me from the uterus out.

Cunt bleeding is no fun. I want a refund on this fucking X chromosone.
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This is for you Ryan, so stop bitching at me. [Feb. 28th, 2004|10:31 pm]
jessi
I'm not entirely sure what happened to me last night.

I sat down in the projection room and all of a sudden it's 15 minutes later, and I'm laying face-down on the cold, gross tile floor, with Emily stroking my hair saying "It's time to get up sweetie."
Yeah, I don't know if I fell asleep, or if I fainted.


ReverendQwerty: that reminds me, mom-to-be needs to buy me some goddamn cigarettes this week
HarleyQuinnJra: I bet you're overjoyed you only have a bit over a month to go
ReverendQwerty: OH MY GOD
ReverendQwerty: SIR
ReverendQwerty: YOU HAVE NO IDEA
ReverendQwerty: NONE
ReverendQwerty: WHATSOEVER
HarleyQuinnJra: we all have our vices. I can't wait for sex toys
ReverendQwerty: I can't wait for statutory rape lol am i rite
HarleyQuinnJra: don't even mention. I'm so pissed..


Best segue evah:

"Bitter Love" theme PMF this month.
Talk about it.
Guess who all showed up?

Elisia
Lindsay
Rachel. The 13 year old nymphet of my now insanely twisted ex-boyfriend.

I'm not supposed to know that they're dating, but I do. And I don't think she knew that.

So, Brian had 2 ex girlfriends, and one current toy, slut, I mean payback weapon, infatuation present at the February showing of tragic love stories. I'm surprised he wasn't there himself. Oh wait, that would have been a particularly painful slap in the face, now wouldn't it have been?


Bitter love, indeed.



I had a nervous breakdown on Friday. Just a little one. I guess you could really call it a temper tantrum. But this has been SUCH a shitty month, I'm delving even further into self pity than I should.

Live from my ass, it's Saturday night!

Fuck you.
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(no subject) [Feb. 2nd, 2004|11:14 pm]
jessi
Things are never the same once you take it all away.

I'm too upset to care.
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(no subject) [Jan. 31st, 2004|11:36 pm]
jessi
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |It's my life- No Doubt (Icky)]

I'm alive, for those of you who care. I'd said I'd be x-posting everything from DJ to here, but I'm not, because I'm lazy and feel no motivation to click that many buttons when Diesel Sweeties and Diamond Mind are so much more interesting.

Apparantly I've aquired a new friend, not that I mind but who the FUCK are you? It's cool that you add me, but it is a tad creepy when I've never heard of you, and since I'm not at ALL active on LJ anymore, never see you around, since I belong to 2 communities, niether of which you are in.

God Deadjournal is SOOO much more exciting. It's weird how you bond with people you've never met, you know?

Well in anycase, I'm in the middle of what seems to be my 3rd nervous breakdown of the school year, (a new record, whoooo!!) and it is rather boring.
I'm sick, and I'm tierd and I'm not having nearly enough good days to keep from killing somebody.

PMF was today. It was fun, but really really tiring because I had to take Hannah and Mikendra was there and two small girls around alot of big and bitchy people is not always a fun day. Then Hannah decided to throw some temper tantrum in the middle of a public restroom about toilet paper.

I have been with that child all day. I just put her to bed.
At least I took a nice nap with Adam. Even if I did smother him in my arm pit (sorry babe, not that you're around much anymore either.)

God the internet has become so boring.
But I guess it's the closest replacement for a social circle, right?
What social circle?
-A burnt out suicidal sk8rboi
-A music nazi with a cockroach eating his face
-A weasel with no fine motor skills
-A weasel with motor skills fine enough to get him into one of the most prestigious art schools in the country (fucker).
-A slut who chooses relationships like she chooses her nail polish color
-An uptight control freak who won't stop talking about her sucesses in life, and meanwhile making my life look meaningless and unimportant because I'm not going to be graduating
-An art teacher who is becoming more and more difficult to communicate with
-A boyfriend I never see
-Other friends who I probably shouldn't be giving difinitive catagories to, since I haven't really talked to them in weeks.


Can you guess who's who?
And which one's really matter?

Guess not.

Anyway, back to Joey.
Or not. He hasn't called in months.


Sorry guys. I tried. I really did. Once I left LJ I guess I just did it for good.
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Yay [Dec. 31st, 2003|07:54 pm]
jessi
Name


Where you live


This is what you see when you look in the door.


This is where I sleep, for those of you stalkers who are intereseted.

Hometown?

I did a search for "Albuquerque" and this is what it came up with...

Astrological Sign


Favorite Smell



Favorite Color



Favorite Movie(s)



Favorite Sport(s)


Favorite Animal(s)

Yes. My cat's name is really Maximilliowned. I blame drugs, and my ex-boyfriend.


This is a kangaroo. Not a walllaby.


Favorite Tunes


Favorite Store(s)


Biggest Fear


Dream Outfit
If not:

(Imagine there's fishets. I couldn't find them.)

Then:


Most Treasured Item(s)


and

(This represents all of my Harley stuff. It was too much to take a picture of everything.)

And it was too dark to take a picture of my car. :(


Three Things You Love


My teddy bear that I have had my whole life who I cannot sleep without


My Jack Skellington hoodie (And no, I didn't get mine at Hot Topic like everybody else. I bought mine at Disneyland.)


The left shoe I have dedicated to Weezer. This represents my love for my shoes, and my love for Weezer.
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(no subject) [Dec. 28th, 2003|12:41 am]
jessi
aphrodite66's LiveJournal Slut Stats
The below percentages indicate what aphrodite66 has done with the 7 people on her friends list!
met

100.0%
hugged

85.7%
dated

14.3%
kissed

14.3%
seen topless

57.1%
seen naked

28.6%
phone sexed

0.0%
made out

14.3%
oral sex

14.3%
fucked

14.3%
What are your LiveJournal Slut Stats?
Sponsored via Adult Friend Finder. Keep this meme and others like it checking it out or getting free account! You may meet the match of your dreams!



I wish it worked for DJ *cries*
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